I’ve never really kept a journal before but I think if I’m going to be successful at doing it I’ll need it to be online. I don’t think I’ll have anything of interest to say to anyone else, just my own random thoughts.
For the last two years I’ve tried having a word of the year, last year was a made up word stick-to-it-iveness. I didn’t really improve in this area though. I still have much to learn about dicipline.
But this year I think i’m going to pick the word Jesus. I need more Jesus. I’ve been starting and ending my day by listening to an audio Bible each morning and night for the last few days and I like this.
This morning I was listening to the story of Joseph. If I was good at the journaling thing I would have some profound life changing revelation to share right now, but I got nothing. It was interesting and the best I can share is that I didn’t realize. Joseph’s dad was the same guy who wanted to marry Rachel but was tricked into working for a whole bunch of years and then was tricked into marrying her sister Leah first. Then after even more years he was finally able to marry Rachel. Then Rachel died in childbirth after giving birth to her second son. Joseph and Benjamin being the 11th and 12th sons of Jacob, and only two born to his beloved Rachel.
Still, I have nothing amazing to say, no word from the Spirit with wisdom for my day, but perhaps tomorrow.
This weekend I was finally able to put into words something I have been feeling for a long time, I want to fall in the love with the Bible. I want to long for it, I want it to be the thing I do in those moments when there is down time. I want it to be such a passionate love that studying God’s Word is the first thing I do in the morning and if I miss it, I want to need it so much that I can’t go to sleep without getting it done.
Seem simple? It hasn’t been for me. I’ve read the entire Bible, twice actually. The first time was about 4 years ago, I signed up through Mom’s Toolbox to read the entire Bible, cover-to-cover, in only 90 days. Seem impossible? I finished in 89 days and that was after falling behind for several days (Don’t fall behind! ITS BRUTAL TO CATCH UP!) I also did this at a time when my children were very young, I think about 2 and 4 years old. It took me about an hour a day, most of which occurred in 5-minute batches throughout the day and then finishing up whatever was left at bedtime. It was an amazing experience and I recommend it. But it is not studying the Bible. It is not learning, knowing and understanding the Word. It is not being in love with the Bible.
The second time I read the whole Bible was as part of a sermon series at church. Everyone was encouraged to read a chapter a week in the version of the Bible called The Story by Max Lucado and Randy Frazee (find on Amazon). Its beautiful and easy to read, but somehow I got to the end I didn’t feel like I really read the REAL Bible.
The funny thing is, it seems like a prayer that God would support. “She wants to fall in love with the Bible, wonderful – POOF” and then I would immediately have an insatiable need to read the Bible. A burning desire to read it at every free moment.
Truth? I made the request. God did not “POOF.” I have had a new and unusual desire to clean my house since I prayed. I even did some spot cleaning of stains I’ve had on my carpets for years this morning. But I have no new desire to open the Word. UGH! If I have to do this in my own power I don’t have enough faith in myself to get it done!
I read a blog a few years back about praying for a “Word” that would umbrella my year. Kind of like a new resolution, and people were doing it around January 1. Two years ago the “word” I received was a phrase: “Be the community you want to see.” I knew exactly what this was about. I was part of a mom’s group at the time and although we were getting together regularly, we were only getting to know each other on a very surface level. So I took this message, to be the community and I tried to make it happen. I set up small play dates at my house with one or two other moms and kids to and tried to create friendships.
It was great, for about a year, and then as often happens in a group of women living in a fallen world, it all fell apart. I said something in an honest desire to help a situation and it all went somewhere that seems to require a handbasket. After this encounter it was like I opened my eyes clearly and saw that all my efforts were for nothing. There was no greater community than there was before and I lost all desire to try.
Interesting….that is not what I was planning to write when I started this blog post.
So, back to the plan. Its March and I finally have a new word, a new phrase. I want to FALL IN LOVE WITH THE BIBLE. This will be the year of the Bible. I want to fill my house with it. I want to have a passionate need to read the Bible, study it, devour it. Read it and understand it on my own. I’ve read so many books ABOUT the Bible, now I want to read the ACTUAL Bible. But I don’t just want to read it at a head level I want it to be at a heart level. To actually fall.in.love.with.the.Bible.
I have no idea how to make this happen. God help me.
What is it about starting something new that as humans we want to start somehow inline with a calendar? “I’ll start on Monday” or “I’ll start that on the 1st”? All this culminates in January 1st, New Year’s Resolutions. I’ve been contemplating many of these goals for months but I kept putting them off with thoughts like “I’ll start that in January.” Why do we do this?
This year, most than any I can recall, I have created a list of goals that is beyond the reasonable to accomplish.
One through three really need to happen so that means 4-6 are likely to fall off at some point in the near future. Although I’m making each goal with the best of intentions, today is January 1 and I have a bit of a cold and don’t feel particularly motivated, however, I did do Day 1 of the plank challenge, so that’s something! I’d best go dust off my Bible so I can get that started too. Healthy eating starts tomorrow!
Prayer: Dearest Abba, I know I have bitten off more than I can manage in my goals for 2015, its too much for me, but its not too much for you! Please review these goals and make it clear to me what are YOUR goals for me to accomplish this month, this year, and beyond and remind me that nothing is impossible when it is from you. Amen.
